2:47 p.m. - 10.02.07
10.02.07
yo! huixin is back in action again. i guess no one is reading. -hahas- but who cares? ;)
suddenly, i've the urge to write again. have the urge to pour out my thoughts. umms.. umms.. i'm still the sulking old huixin. la la. got results. flunked. well, it's expected. umms.. i'm just thinking how petty, how unreasonable and how terrible i can be. well.. i am such a good friend you know? you wouldn't believe this. i am actually jealous of elaine and felt betrayed. just because she did well in her exam and i didn't. omg. i've become a horrible person. i don't even feel happy for her. omg. omg. omg! -hais- i don't know what is wrong with me.
well, actually i'm always feeling envious and jealous. i envy kaihui for being such a true girl. she is always so damn real you know? she is totally opposite from me. i am always faking with smile. laughing at things that i don't even think it's funny at all. i am jealous when kaihui gets close to clarence. (nah, not because i like clarence, it's because he is a very dear friend to me. hence, i don't feel like sharing him with others.) i'm jealous of audrey being so close to my god-mum and yiyi. she is always getting the attention of those that i always wanted to get from. but i always fails to do so. i am envious of weiwen for having a rich family. she can buy the things she wants easily. unlike me. i always end up buying nothing because i am poor. i'm jealous of xiaohui for being able to slim down. (though she took pills. =Xx) that's why i always end up losing friends. in order to stop the envious and jealousy, i've to distance myself from them.
frankly speaking, i don't give a damn to them anymore. what i'm concerning now is elaine. i don't want to lose her. (please don't misunderstand. i'm not a les.) well, there is this kind of friend who you don't need to meet up regularly. but you know that the friend is always there for you whenever you are feeling low and whatsoever. elaine is just this kind of friend you know. she is always giving me supports and advices. though i can't really say that she really understand what i want, how i feel. but she is somehow there. i can never find anyone like her anymore. she is some sort like a soul mate to me. she is so damn precious to me. -hais- I don't want to lose her.. i'm really a horrible person.. :(
